In an epic win for his enemies, Cheeto in Chief Dornald Blormf has announced that we will fully cave on the government shutdown.
Shortly after the senate shot down two bills to end the shutdown, Orange Man invited the two leaders of the Demoncrat party to a private meeting where he allegedly got down on his knees and sucked a compromise out of their feminine penises.
The master negotiator who authored The Art of the Deal has decided to fully cave on the shutdown in return for literally nothing at all.
He appeared on Twitter this morning to remind his base that 8,000 Hondurans are on their way to rape their daughters and sell heroin to their sons.
If only there was something he could have done to prevent this.